As you trudge through your daily life, do you ever slow down long enough to notice the people and things around you? I know I never used to when I lived in Northern Virginia. If I ever did, life would surely have run me over. I have described life in and near Washington, D.C. as that of a microwave society. I want it now, or if not now, as soon as is humanly possible. Nobody takes any real time to look around, enjoy what they have, or even to spend a few minutes chatting with a new acquaintance.

I was very much like that when I relocated to Nebraska. If anyone wanted to chat me up, I suspected they wanted to steal my wallet or my car. It took a little while to get used to the Midwest ways and the people. Much more laid back and kinder than the East Coast folk ever were. I have met and had conversations with many people in my years in Nebraska. Some you talk to once or twice and they don’t leave a lasting impression, so you really don’t remember them. Others you talk to once and that one encounter lingers in your mind or heart as it was a conversation that evoked emotion or brought back memories for you.

And once in a while, you offer up a hello and a smile to someone, they reciprocate and a situational friendship ensues. What I mean by situational is that the friendship exists only in a particular environment. I had such a friendship, as did my daughter and wife, with a lady that worked at the HyVee grocery store near my house.

I remember the first time I saw her. She worked as someone who handed out samples for the store. She worked behind her little mobile cart cooking steak, pork chops or any number of items. I passed by her cart and inquired as to what she was sampling. I took a sample of steak, ate it and thanked her. My daughter did the same. The little old lady looked at both of us like we had two heads because we actually spoke to her. I purchased some of the steak and off my daughter and I went. This routine occurred almost every time I went to HyVee.

One day I introduced my daughter and I to her and she said her name was Joanie. It got to be that I always stopped to chat with Joanie and have a sample of whatever it was she was cooking that day. I even stopped when I was short on time and in a hurry. There was something about talking with her that always made me feel good. Maybe in some odd way talking to her reminded me of my mother.

My daughter and wife also got to know Joanie and over the years we all grew familiar with one another’s family and would ask how everyone was doing. Whenever I was shopping by myself, Joanie always asked about my wife and daughter and said to give them her best. I would always tell her to say hello to her husband, Bill. Strange thing was that I did not meet Bill until I had known Joanie for several years. I liked Bill and it was great to finally meet him one day when my family went to HyVee to have dinner and do some shopping.

I heard about Joanie’s children, her in-laws, and about her grandchildren. She shared many stories about them and I felt like I had known them my entire life. Joanie shared good stories, bad stories, happy stories and even the stories that made her sad. I don’t know if she shared her stories with everyone, or if I was one of a select few. Either way, I felt honored that she was comfortable enough to open up to me. I occasionally shared a story or two from my life.

Most conversations with Joanie were very pleasant and filled with laughter. Some were very sad and left me wanting to cry right there in HyVee. I remember as if it were 5 minutes ago when she shared that one of her sons had died on the operating table while having “routine surgery”. I saw how sad she was and I wished I could have given her a hug, but I felt that she would have shied away from that. One short month after her son died, to the very day, she devastatingly lost her husband Bill.

I had not seen Joanie for several days and one of the ladies that works the meat counter pulled me aside and broke the news to me. I felt like crying that day also. My heart ached for her. Imagine losing two of your loved ones in just one month. I knew Joanie was very sad and I didn’t know how I would act or what I would say when I next saw her. I have to admit that I shied away from seeing her because of it. I avoided my usual Hyvee and even went to another grocery store chain for a few weeks.

I knew I couldn’t hide forever so I started going back to my regular HyVee. A month or so went by and I never saw Joanie so I asked where she was. I was told she had taken a fall and was recuperating but that she had been into the store and was in pretty good shape, especially considering that she lost the love of her life and her son so recently. I always hoped to see Joanie every time I went to the store. Time and time again, I was disappointed.

Earlier today (Tues. December 27) I was in the store and having not seen Joanie in about three months, I asked if anyone knew how she was doing. I was given an update.

Joanie died on November 20, 2011.

I stood there stunned. I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach and knocked the wind out of me. After the initial shock wore off, I once again felt like crying in HyVee. I regret not seeing her and expressing my condolences to her regarding the loss of her husband.

The thing that sticks in my mind the most about Joanie is how few people ever said “thank you” to her or even acknowledged her as she did her job. People would walk up to her sampling area, grab any number of samples and walk away without even making eye contact with her. I knew it bothered her but she did her best to let it go.

I ask anyone who reads my words to make a better effort to at least say “hi” to people you pass by in life. It may just make them feel happy. You may even get to know someone and that might make you happy.

Rest in peace, Joanie.

Until next time,

Mark

I checked in real quick to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas! Hope everyone got things they like and can use. Sometimes you get things that don’t quite work out. Maybe it’s a hat that is a bit snug and it needs to be exchanges for a larger one because your head is too enormous. Maybe it’s the duplicate gift you got and one needs to be returned or exchanged. Maybe a gift is too small to carry things meant to go inside of it. One or all of these things can leave you feeling bummed out and sad. Remember that it’s the thought that really matters.

I will leave you for now with an image that I captured a few weeks ago and used on my family Christmas cards and also on some cards sent to clients.

I will surely do my best to post more frequently and also will share the story of how I came to capture the above image and what I did to it to get it to look the way it does. HDR may have been used.

Until next time,

Mark

I write my blog entries for myself. A sort of online diary. The fact that others stop by once in a while to read my latest ramblings or, as some do, check every day amazes me. I don’t know what is so special about my musings that draws people, but I certainly get many, many visitors. I don’t feel that my words are profound or that they cause readers to take action. I have received feedback from time to time from readers letting me know how my words and or images make them feel, but that isn’t very often.

I am in a reflective and somber mood as I write these words. A few things that are on my mind and in my heart occupy my thoughts.

November 29 would have been my father’s 77th birthday. I have written about my dad in the past on my blog and how I miss him. I find myself thinking about him at various times and how he would view the current events of our planet. The politicians playing games with the opposing political party hoping to get the inside track on the next elections would surely anger and disgust him. He would be saddened as well by these politicians childish behaviors while our once great country grows weaker and our citizens suffer from the inaction of a few hundred self-important and delusional individuals that are supposed to represent our interests, but rarely do.

I know my father checks in on me and my family from time to time. I often feel his presence. It’s not like his ghost appears or that lights flicker or I hear noises. I just get this feeling and awareness that he is close by. I feel his strength and I feel a sense of calm and safety. I wish I could talk to him and get some guidance or words of wisdom from him. He had a way of leading you to answer your own questions and solve your own problems. I also wish I knew what his thoughts would be about my daughter, her accomplishments and the person she is and will be. I have no doubt he would be proud. I also wonder what he thinks about me and what my life has become.

I miss you, Dad.

I occasionally have a thought of someone from my past pop into my head and as a result, I will do a Google search on that person to see if anything comes up. This happened again late last night (Nov. 30). I was visiting some websites and doing some reading on world events, sports, photography, etc. when the image of a woman I haven’t seen or spoken to for twenty some years popped into my brain. I Googled her name and her children’s names and had my breath taken away when the first Google listing was from a funeral home in the town I used to live in when I last saw her. She died two days ago.

I felt a profound sense of sadness. I had not seen or spoken to her for so many years, so why did I think about her last night? I don’t have an answer. I only know that I shed several tears as I read her obituary. She was the mother of a son and daughter that were both good friends of mine. I worked with this dear woman at a local movie theater and shared many, many laughs and good times with her. I also spent many hours at her house hanging out with her children and watching TV or talking. She was a kind and caring person.

Karen, I know you will be missed. God bless.

Until next time,

Mark